New Ways

For the past couple of weeks, I consistently felt rushed. Do you know those weeks when you feel like you just can’t stop? I woke up one particular morning already sighing for the day ahead of me - which to me revealed that I needed space. My body needed rest and extended time to breathe. This morning, I sat down for breakfast, opened my calendar, and realized that my chiropractor appointment was thirty minutes before expected. Adding to the stress, the drive there was thirty minutes away (a window into what the most recent weeks entailed- rush and hurry). It felt like I was living from an empty tank. I wanted to connect with God and myself - and I just couldn’t.

I stepped out the door in a hurry. As I pushed the kitchen table out and stood up startled, Ryan said “You get ready, and I’ll make coffee for you to go.” After quickly getting ready, he met me at the door with coffee thermos in hand- and when I saw the thermos he chose, my heart gave a jolt…For you see, this was more than a thermos.

When my dad passed away, my sister and I were not offered many of his keepsakes (a story for another time), but one of the items given was his coffee thermos. When my dad and I would go on errands, rise early in the morning for our surf sessions, or make coffee before driving to church, this was the thermos he would often take. After he went to Heaven, I tried for about a year to remember what brand of thermos he used- so when I received it a couple of years later after his passing- with the smell of hazelnut remaining when I opened it - it took me back and reminded me of those treasured moments. And that morning, a coffee thermos offered my heart as a daughter missing her dad a sense of comfort, a comfort being offered to my very rushed heart.

I walked to my car, turned the key in the ignition, gave a big sigh, and spoke into the space “Holy Spirit, I’m exhausted. Please meet me here.” At that moment I went to Spotify and felt an invitation to play “Soaking in His Presence (Instrumental Music).” There I was, on my way to my doctor's appointment- instrumental music playing, sunlight streaming through the windows, driving through the open roads of farmland, holding my dad’s coffee thermos in hand; and it’s there that I began to pour out my raw and honest heart-thoughts out to The Father, Son, and Spirit. It was there, in the car, that I met with God in a way I haven’t in a while.

My heart exhaled after that drive and it got me thinking… there are ways to meet with him that aren’t the “cookie cutter” ways. Throughout these past weeks, I had a strong desire to spend time with God, and on the same token, I was tired of the “same old thing;” and what felt like a monotonous routine. The monotonous routine looked

like this: open the Bible, journal, pray, and sit in silence - all good things.

And all the while, my intuition was knocking on the door of my heart asking for a new rhythm, a new way of meeting with The Trinity. This desire felt less like avoidance of those practices and more like a shedding or planting of a new seed within my spiritual walk. And it was there in the car that I also began to notice new invitations to meet with Him that felt more like breathing and joy- and less like monotonous obligation. My heart loves being in His Presence; but if I’m honest, it sometimes felt boring- because it looked one way. And this new invitation and pathway towards Him felt like a fresh stream and drink of water.

While I began this practice, I began to lean into His heart by also leaning into mine. And there were moments following where I began to hear the sound of softness and a prompting - out of the routine and into His delight and enjoyment. His goodness is not limited to a routine.

His goodness can be found through hikes in the winter with a loved one or in solitude, and in finding deer off the beaten path. His goodness can be found through the smell of coffee brewing in the morning. His goodness can be found with the sunrise welcoming a new day. His goodness can be found through the tears of a loved one, through the sigh after sharing in vulnerability. His goodness is sun on my face. His goodness is found in dirty dishes after long conversation over a meal and wine. His goodness is looking in the mirror and hearing His love and heartbeat for the child He designed. He is found in the small moments - that are actually the intricacies that make up life with Him. Life with Him, is actually noticing that The Presence is actually wanting to be within every moment - and that is a hallelujah.

Speaking to and also intentionally inviting His Presence into moments is so important. I am a lover of stillness and contemplation. I also love journaling and engaging with worship. And all the while, throughout these weeks, my heart feels more awake and less restrained to one particular way of meeting with Him.

On one particular afternoon, I chose to bake instead of have my "normal routine." I lit a candle, played instrumental worship music, and opened the windows to let light stream in. There was a moment during baking when I felt the Spirit say "Maddy, women often had to make meals from scratch and it was there where they met with me" right in the thick of living and daily tasks women met with God; and in that moment of baking I felt deeply connected to Him as a woman. Another moment (attached below) while playing instrumental music throughout the house (Italian cooking music is particularly fun when making dinner), a candle lit, and open windows had a way of connecting my heart to His more than any another moment that day.

So, with that - I thought I would share some of the moments and songs that took me out of my head and into new pathways and invitations to encounter His Presence in new ways…

New Ways:

Driving to get groceries blasting Amanda Cook’s album titled “Nova.”
Cup of coffee in hand and eating homemade pastries with Ry while driving to church.
Watching Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter and seeing the themes of light versus dark.
Baking & Cooking Meals.
Hiking in the snow.
Walking around the lake with Ry during winter.
Sitting in front of the window sipping on coffee and watching animals in nature.
Taking a good nap.
Reading Harry Potter with the fireplace on, Christmas tree lit, and hot chocolate in hand.
Getting ready slowly - speaking kindness towards myself and body as I get ready.
The sun setting and seeing porch lights and cafe lights suddenly on - lights reflecting in the snow.
Receiving a meal from friends when feeling sick.
Going to the chiropractor.
Good food, drink, and conversation with friends.
Going on a drive with my husband with hot chocolate to look at Christmas lights.
Sitting at the kitchen table during my lunch break with no music, phone, or distractions and watching the snowfall.
Red Light Therapy - no music or phone. Just taking in the warmth and comfort it offers.
Taking Barre classes - feeling connected to my body, breath, and strength.
Teaching Barre classes - learning to feel confident in using my voice and encourage clients in their capabilities.
Laughter.

Go in courage dear friends.

Courage to meet with His Presence in new ways. Maybe ways that seem a little out of the ordinary or mundane. He wants to be in the ever present moment you are in right now. Maybe play that album that brings you joy, or go for a long drive and pour your heart out to Him. Either way- He

simply wants your heart.

Songs: Intact: Falcon (Amanda Cook), Soaking In His Presence (Instrumental Worship), Honestly: Amanda Cook, & Where I Find God: Larry Fleet

Books: Sacred Pathways by: Gary Thomas & One Thousand Gifts by: Ann Voskamp